Shit Stains & Sundays

-That seems to be where my story begins. At least the first indications that I was born with trauma from past lives, with a mission, with purpose, and most of all with gods wisdom and blessing.

All things to all Men? Naa, to all WOMEN. Hmmm I question all. Trust is earned not given any longer.

I wounder why the power went out @buffalo Thunder. Could that have been me?

Just like the song says in buying the stair way to heaven? It seems, I can get anything I want with out a word. Well no not it seem, I can. This for me is a like a wet blanket or a heavy burden in and of it self. But to one of those your are so pretty I cant look at you thing. I never even considered that but that weird guy I worked for that did the hair led light shit with the hand held that can help joints. He was that way even in my interview he wouldn’t look at me.

Blessed beyond measure, too blessed to be stressed. To much for myself. Sounds egoistical and yet that is how I feel, in that cannot see with the eyes. I see the beauty in every one. Even when I met Teri I thought she had a pretty smile.

It truly is what you focus on. I focus too much on the good in people. so perhaps I focus too much on my bad in return, a way of balance, perhaps.

It may actually be fruit of the spirit, love joy peace patience kindness, and self-control, and self governance all at once.

There are many thing that can only be learned by experience, although if it goes over your head it’s not meant for that individual to understand at that time.

. I used to be pretty dingy missing many jokes, i.e. back handed complements, read Tre Macho book. now I know better, I simply was what they label as Autistic. born to old for such nonsense and tatke everything a face value and when it is not and I have brrn mistreated or abused at different levil I have lerarne how to deal weoth the feelijngs heal and move on sometime that presents in forgetting sometimes in other ways.

I am in this strange limbo, perhaps this is what would be called somewhat like a purgatory, or more like a Zen mode which one I am experiencing depends. on presence what and who is present, in spirit and in truth.


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