I once met this man named Rudy and his gal Veronica. He was a huge manipulative assohle from the get go.
I cannot believe the stocker status. I saw him again today walking down copper street. Somehow he found out where I am and thinks if he runs into me again there will be some hope of communication and forget that shit.
I know a user and abuser when I see itl. Thank God for Kevin as I do every day. Rudy is a POS by any means possible to get something that is not his to have, or it would be his.
As I sit here and contemplate the things I have experienced much of it is spiritual in nature esoteric hearing from spirits channeling sometimes I know exactly who it is and at times it takes time to figure out who or what cuz spirits I hear from do not speak thru me and I give not yield to any of those types of spirits. Channeling, which many times happens spontaneously meaning with effort on my part as I do not practice that type of thing since it feels weird and like either I am privy to a conversation that has nothing to do with me or someone is attempting to get into my business. Since it began I have simply found ways to set boundaries with those that keep coming back for more in subterfuge.
With the purpose to manipulate or otherwise change me in some way. That will not happen because I do not have personality disorder or anything like that. I am simply sensitive.
I have been melancholy all day as they were burying Eddy today. I never got to meet Bobbie’s older brother because he was in prison most of his life, most of us are in some type of imprisonment whether it be imprisoned by our addictions or literally. There are different forms of imprisonment. I feel more and more imprisoned by my need to be surrounded by people that are authentic and at least somewhat like minded.
Petty small minded jealous people I don’t have time to waste on. This transition into what is considered the fall of life season is perplexing as I am young, healthy and shall remain so. I am as young as I feel, and I still feel 21 physically and emotionally 20,000 yrs old.
Living in a world where most people are only out for themselves, it is not only a world which makes no sense to me it baffles me that these beings cannot see it only themselves they ultimately do damage to when going around like hurricanes damaging everyone in their atmosphere with their misery, and spew their misery and jealousy on others which possess that which they do not. Pazzaz, panache, influance.
Looking forward to this new Jale which dovetails with my newfound creative side, love of nature, people watching and in general absorbing all that is through a new perspective.
The most difficult thing I have been dealing with is insomnia and the desire for a job, not necessary because I need the $$ as things simply come to us in various ways. But for the enrichment of my days giving them more structure and purpose and in general something to look forward to. Creating new and uplifting friendships is always the best thing about starting a new job.
It’s funny how some things come full circle and some things don’t. Working at Expo NM was suggested to me a while back and it came to fruition, by simply trusting Great Spirit and putting one foot in front of the other. No always doing the next, right,: thing as well I have a propensity to end up in the strangest situations and wonder how I got there. I say a little prayer for Ghost, heard disturbing news. Thank God I chose to keep myself out of that drama. I sensed something was about to break there’; and again it baffles me how harmful underhanded and evil in general people can be. This is what leads me to be so leary of trusting any new people. I have a select few that I can entrust my heart with although that is way more than some ever have. I say a prayer for those that have none to feel safe emotionally spiritually, and physically with. It looks like walking on quicksand I’ve been there too many times. I hope and pray I never end up in a situation like what I experienced in Texas.
Anasazi DeLuna 